cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
