well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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