need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
