is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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