We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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