Too much gin, very little bucket
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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