Your tits are I can't wait for
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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