Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
