idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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