Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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