Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
