So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
