If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
