So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
