That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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