On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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