the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
