the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
