Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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