It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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