Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
