i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
