We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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