idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
