i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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