Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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