i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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