Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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