put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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