i permit you to call me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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