Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
