No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
