you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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