Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
