No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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