Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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