How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
