Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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