so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
