Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
