you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
