Whod you bang
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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