Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
