I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
