Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
