She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
