Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
