wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
