just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
