I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She needs sedatives and a leash
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
