I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
