I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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