CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
