and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
