WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
